Friendships

So when it comes to me, i have an hard time keeping connections with anybody. I feel like it is a temporary thing, or even a "it's-just-a-phase" thing. I don't really know why this happens, but maybe it's because of my past, where my mother didn't really care much about me and just used me as an emotional tampon, or i just felt more attracted to video games / electronic things / cartoons/ animes than human beings. 

To me, human beings are pretty much predictable, but at the same time, unpredictable. I have a false impression that i can predict how they are going to behave or what they are going to say even knowing that i can't predict them, any single one of them. As somebody said, "Humans fear what they do not understand" (not every time, but still.), and being one of them, this is a fallacy that drives me crazy since i do not share almost any interest with anybody else, and thus most of my days are a little bit troubling.

I'm gonna quote MisChef on reddit:

I feel like i have no reason to maintain a relationship with casual friends. I don't like to be idle. I don't enjoy spending time doing anything when there's no goal to the endeavor. Going for a walk even seems dumb, unless I have a destination and a reason to walk there, so I can do the thing and walk home.

Checking in with friends is a chore, and it always feels one-sided. I think maybe it's got to do with that "ask for favors" concept, attributed to Ben Franklin: you ask someone you want to like you to do you a favor and that makes them like you, because if they didn't like you they wouldn't do the favor.

Those are my exact feelings. Does anybody else feels this way? If so how do you cope with it?

With this i over and out.

~DarkRay